hold fast

i'm trying to keep hold of the film shoot i was in on Sunday and remember that i am an actress and an artist and i'm making progress. so hard to do when you are sitting at a desk under flourescent lights. it was one of the best experiences creating in a collaborative setting that i have had in a long time. it also reminded me that i'm a good actress. i know that i can do characters and change myself - but those are characters that i create. not that this is a minus. i love creating my own work, but it's very different from taking someone else's work, someone else's vision and carving a place in yourself so that you can tell their story. one thing that it re-inforced in me was how much i love the medium of film and how much i would love to do more. i love how it holds life up so that you can see it in all it's infinite intricacies. and i love how during and after the shoot it crystalized life into moments for me and opened up my mind to all these loveley film fantasies. wouldn't it be great to have a shit-load of money so you could make any film you wanted to make? maybe i shouldn't let money limit me, though. maybe i should make what i can with what i have and just keep auditioning and striving and trying to be in a g-d damn beautiful movie(s) some day. here's my latest character creation. her name is Jan Popper and i'm a mite obsessed.