Lady, You Got a Problem

I have a confession to make: I'm a junkie. One of my rituals these days is reading the NY Times OpEd first thing in the morning. The wiser Ann inside would really like to take time to digest the morning. Have a cup of coffee. Breathe in the fresh new day. Look out from my beachfront property at the hazy ocean be-decked in muted lavender, pink and sapphire. I have the coffee down. Gotta work on the breathing. And right now the view from my window is a garret so a NY Times OpEd piece is prettier to look at. OKAY, FINE! I'm a user! Andrew Sullivan, Huffington Post, The Page, sometimes Drudge Report when it doesn't annoy me and always NY Times. I should probably throw Washington Post into my news junkie cocktail too. I swear, I'm not usually like this. I'm not usually such a whore for pundits, but there is so much riding on this election. As a nation I feel like we are climbing the high-dive, and the thought of jumping is both butterfly thrilling and completely terrifying. Sort of like someone holding a gun to your head and asking you why you look so nervous. Let's paint a picture ladies and gents: I logged on to NY Times this morning, THEN I bought the Times for my train ride into town. While I was reading said Times I was visibly grimacing while I read the article about how Palin billed Alaskan taxpayers for the more than 300 nights she spent at home during her first year and a half in office. And then I almost blurted an expletive while reading about that double-crossing little kermit the troll known by the name Joe Lieberman. Then, finally when I arrived at the office - I went straight to Huffington Post. Whatever, it's not like I have a problem. I can stop whenever I want.

[to a lady on the subway] What are you reading? Is that the Times? Oh yeah? What's - what are you reading about? Can I just - just let me look at it. Just a little peek, c'mon! JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN PAPER!!! [wrestling lady to the ground] AAGGHHHHH!!!!