excuse me

Okay. So this happened: I was standing in line, as I often do on payday, at the H&M dangerously situated 1/2 a block from my temp job. Anyone who has shopped more than once at the 5th Ave. location, as I have, knows that each register has a separate cue. Noticing that there was one cue with no-one lined up behind the last customer, I switched lines. And then: you know the type of person who sort of has a slightly disgusted look about them at all times and dresses as though they collected their ensemble from the bottom of the closet? Well, one of them was standing in the line next to mine. Sort of like Rhea Perlman except with no hope.

As soon as I step into line - she looks over and notices that she's in the slower line. The lady she's waiting behind is taking FOREVER and she lost her chance to get in a better line, MY LINE. Except! Except! Oh wait folks! Maybe there's a glimmer of hope here! Maybe she can put her thinking cap on and better her chances and somehow her life by cutting in front of me!

Now, there are a variety of ways that a person can execute a cut - and usually there is a certain degree of finesse and self-poise the executioner possesses. When cutting in line for example, you want to carry it off as though it's the most natural thing in the world. God GAVE you this spot and there's no sense in pretending anyone was there before you. Sure someone may say 'Hey cutter! I was here first!' In which case you give them your best 'reptilian come no closer to me' look and turn your back for they exist no more.

Not Rhea II. No, she took a different route: the diplomatic cutter route:

'Excuse me, I think I'm gonna go there' pointing to the space in front of me.

My response was one of my proudest to date because it was so perfectly timed and had that cutting, stop you in your tracks superiority of Mrs. Huxtable, Felicia Rashad herself:

'Oh, you do?'

At which point I shot her my best 'reptilian come no closer to me' look and turned to the register to check out.