i have this thing where i need to not disappoint people - and let me tell you... it is such a BUMMER. up to this point in my daily dealings, i haven't really noticed what a ten-ton weight this is around my neck. but as i creep closer and closer to achieving my goals (in spite of having the unsuppressible thought to shout 'I WAS JUST THINKING OF A STINKING PILE OF SHIT! THOUGHT I'D SHARE!' at a national callback) and i have less time, or tolerance for things i'm not - shall we say that passionate about, i am more aware than ever of it. people can be resentful if you don't treat them and their dealings as though it's top priority to you. at least, i find this to be so. especially at my corporate world temp job where they have me sitting in a box writing form letters and filing. it might be different if i didn't get a slight feeling they might be androids as they ask me about my weekend - or 'how's that acting career going? no broadway yet?' at least i got flowers jammed in a vase filled with styrofoam shavings for assistants day. i'm serious.
but here's the awesome thing. i get to go home to a great cat and a wonderful boyfriend. i have some really awesome friends who i love so much i could squish their brains out (there's that part of me that belongs in a sanitarium! aw you guys love it, right?!) and i'm gonna get the eff outta here one day - i'm gonna get up, get out and DO IT!
and if i can't quite believe the above, i'll remember as my good friend Chris Cuttler is fond of saying: 'fake it, 'til ya make it.'
Monday, June 16, 2008
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