and we're back

back from iowa. i woke up every morning to a symphony of birds outside my window. there were layers and layers of their pretty birdie songs. i could have been snow white. except they'd probably peck my eyes out.

it was good to get out of the city and see some family that i hardly get to see anymore. i often caught myself wondering why that was. logically i know that all of us fell into certain routines of distance after my parents split. i have to say all of us because even though it started with the grown ups, the kids eventually followed suit. you can live in the same small city and never see each other (unfortunately with little question on my part). it was so good to see them. my blood. my ties that bind. they are all part of my story and i'm part of theirs. my younger cousin who i've always shared a kindred spirit with is a grown man now with a beautiful family... but i will always see him as a little boy with big brown eyes full of life and spirit and joy. that's a gift. so fuck routines of distance. our time here on earth is too short to waste being oblivious to how lucky we are to be thrown here together, a family.